Always
by DeathOfSanity
Summary: When George Kirk died, leaving his son behind, he prayed. He asked for someone to keep Jim safe, for someone to love him like a father and to raise him to be the best man he could be. Frank may not be the father of the year, but he's always been there for Jim no matter what.


When Jim Kirk was growing up, he was obsessed with space, and always talked about all the new worlds that his mom had visited, and then told him about whenever she was home. His friends though it was fascinating, and always listened to his semi-made up stories in which Winona discovered new planets and met new people.

His mom bought him a telescope for his eighth birthday, and he loved it so much, he stayed up that entire night that night, bundled up in the attic, pointing the telescope every which way out of the open latch on the roof.

And if his step-dad, Frank, was a little hard on his sometimes, it was only because he wanted Jim to do well in life, even if that meant him joining Starfleet and leaving him for months on end just like Winona did. Because Frank really did love Jim – more than he ever knew – but he also knew he would never live up to George Kirk. And that was why Sam left, because he still remembered George, and sometimes Frank tried just a bit too hard to take the place of his dad.

But Frank accepted Jim's desire to go into space, and that was why he sent him to live on another world at 13 just to see if he would like it. He stayed with Frank's sister, and her wife and kids, on Tarsus IV. It was brilliant at first, and Jim would write home constantly, talking about all the new species of people he'd met and the new stuff he was learning. But then he stopped writing.

At first, Frank thought it had just slipped his mind. Jim had probably just met someone and fallen in love, and was too embarrassed to tell his step-dad about it. But then Frank started hearing rumors. Disturbing rumors of a massive crop failure, and a call for assistance. He tried to contact Jim, but soon found out that all incoming and outgoing communication from the planet were cut off. Frank was on the first space flight off Earth, but it would take a while to arrive on Tarsus. Then the flight he's on got turned around by Starfleet, saying that the planet is now a no-flight zone because of a major disaster.

Frank manages to get off at the nearest space station. One with a big, advanced hospital that the survivors are supposed to be taken to. He doesn't sleep for two days, until finally, the starship arrives with the survivors of what is now being called a genocide.

There is something striking that he notices of most of them. All tall, sturdy, with brown hair, thick, ranging from tan skin to deep brown, and surprisingly well-fed. Jim is easy to spot in the crowd, scrawny, thin, blonde hair, and electric blue eyes with a dead stare. Frank's sister is not with him. ‟Jim! Jim!″ he shoves his way through the crowd who shouts abuse in his wake. ‟Jim,″ Frank falls to his knees in front of his stepson. ‟I'm here, Jim. It's me, it's your dad.″

Jim's eyes take their time to focus, and the second Jim recognizes him, they fill with tears. ‟D-dad?″ he practically jumps into Frank's arms, repeating something intelligible over and over again.

Frank just held him, rocking Jim right there in the middle of the hall, people walking by. Eventually, he can make out what Jim is mumbling through his sobs. ‟I'm sorry. I couldn't save them,″ and Frank knows that his sister and her family didn't make it. They, and Jim don't look anything like the rest of the survivors of the massacre. All these people, they must have been the chosen ones. The ones that Kodos decided were worthy of life. If the bastard weren't already dead, Frank would kill him with his bare hands.

‟Jim. Oh, Jim, it's not your fault. I'm sure you did everything you could.″ Because that's just what Jim would do. Fight for other's survival. It was something instilled in him from hearing about his father all these years. It was Kirk nature to put others first. ‟God, Jim, I'm just so glad you're alive. I thought—I couldn't bear to lose you. I love you so much.″ Jim only sobbed harder.

‟Come on,″ Frank stood up, gathering Jim in his arms. ‟We're going home.″ Jim held on tight to Frank's neck, nearly strangling him, but Frank found that he didn't mind, because his son was here, close to him, and that was all that mattered.

Jim refused to leave Frank's side for days after, during their transport back to Earth, when they beamed from San Francisco to Iowa, and even once they got back to the farm. If Jim wasn't sleeping, then he was following Frank around like he'd used to when he was four and asking questions about everything. Except he was silent now. Frank wouldn't let him do any farm work, so Jim usually just sat somewhere nearby and watched. When Winona finally got home, Jim threw himself on her, and they stayed in the living room for hours not saying a thing, but just staring up at the ceiling where Jim had managed years ago to tack a shit ton of glowing stars of varying sizes all over the house, just like they used to do. Frank knew that that was their thing, so he didn't interfere. He barely made it to the back porch before he broke down, tears pooling in his collar, and silent sobs shaking his body. His son. His baby boy. It didn't matter that Frank hadn't met Jim until he was two, it didn't matter that Winona still refused to call him anything but her boys' stepfather. Frank may have been always the second best, never Jim's real dad, but it didn't mean that he couldn't love the boy as if he were his own. He wanted to protect him from every evil thing in the universe, but he knew that, no matter what Jim went through, he would rise above it and become better for it.

Jim almost never left home after that. Frank knew he was just scared, but he didn't want the boy's past to keep him from achieving in life, even if that meant staying in Riverside for the rest of it. He worked the farm, got other jobs around town. Frank taught him how to fix machines, and Jim even worked at the shipyard for almost a year when he was seventeen, the longest he'd ever held a job. Frank was hopeful that maybe Jim would get that wanderlust again that he'd had as a child, seeing the starships, and fixing and building the equipment that would go on them. But then Jim got into a bad fight at work and was fired. He came home with a bruised jaw, and a sort of relieved look on his face.

So Jim stayed at home until he was twenty-two, and some starship captain managed to convince Jim to do better than what he was doing, something Frank had been failing at for years. Jim left for San Francisco the next morning and Frank didn't see him, except for holidays, for three years. When Nero came to Earth, after destroying Vulcan, Frank couldn't get a beam to San Francisco, couldn't get a hold of Jim, didn't know whether or not he was on any of those ships that had been blown up in Vulcan space. It was Tarsus all over again. Not knowing whether Jim was alive of dead, terrified of what might have happened.

Frank finally gave up and got in his car, determined to drive to California if he had to, whether the planet blew up or not. But then the crisis was over, 'disaster averted' said the radio. Frank pulled into the first beam station he saw and got himself sent to the closest civilian station to Starfleet Academy.

At first, he couldn't believe what he'd heard. One ship, the _Enterprise_, had managed to stay floating in Vulcan space and had come back to save the Earth. And at the helm, none other than James Tiberius Kirk, renegade cadet who had somehow managed to become the captain of a starship.

It took the ship a day and a half to limp from Jupiter to Earth, it was damaged so badly, and Frank couldn't find the peace of mind to sleep. When finally, the _Enterprise_ was back, the families of the crew were ushered into a shuttle hanger hurriedly set up just for the occasion, Frank fought his way to the front. At first, he didn't see Jim. Hundreds of uniforms were there, surrounded by family, parents and kids, husbands and wives, lovers, siblings.

Frank was about to just start shouting, when Jim appeared at the far side of the hanger door, staying well back from reunions. Frank was no longer a young man, but he sprinted over faster than he had ever been able to. He stopped in front of Jim, took in the bruises on his face and neck, the wrinkled black uniform shirt and pants, and the haunted expression. Too familiar. Frank reached out and touched Jim's face, avoiding the black eye. He almost didn't want to touch him, he looked to broken, probably some cracked ribs if the shallow wheezing coming from his mouth was anything to go by. But before Frank could even begin to think of a way to hug Jim without hurting him, Jim jumped forward, and crushed him in an embrace. Frank fisted handfuls of Jim's shirt in his hands and tried not to squeeze him too hard. ‟I love you, Jim. Don't scare me like that again.″ Jim laughed.

When it was all said and done, and Starfleet told the families to go home, Frank almost didn't. But Jim insisted that as soon as he graduated from the Academy, he would get a few months leave before he was assigned anywhere, and that he'd spend it in Iowa. So Frank went home, and tried not to think of how close he'd come to losing Jim again.

Winona managed to wrangle her own shore leave to coincide with Jim's, and they met in San Francisco to attend the graduation ceremony. Jim was the student speaker. He stood in front of the remainder of his class and spoke of hope, and forgiveness, and at the end, when it came time to thank those who had helped him get to where he was, he said, ‟There were many things that influenced me to join Starfleet. My mom was one of them. She showed me the wonder of space, and that there was a kind of magic in that wonder. And, of course, you all know about George Kirk, my father. He sacrificed his life for what was right, and kept me alive to be here today, but he isn't the other person who influenced me.″ Winona squeezed Frank's hand in anticipation. ‟My dad, Frank, believed in me from the start, and even when I didn't believe in myself. It was really him that made me want to join. To do better, and live up to what he always wanted for me. It is because of him that I'm standing here. Because he always pushed me to try, even when the odds seemed against me, and how honorable it is to fight for what's important. So, thanks, Dad. I wouldn't be here without you. I love you.″

Frank stood proud as he watched Jim accept captaincy of the _Enterprise_.

When they finally made it back to Riverside, Jim was already busy beyond belief, trying to get everything ready for his mission, but Frank didn't think he'd ever seen him any happier. On one of the rare occasions Jim to took to really relax and enjoy the quiet of the farm, he was sitting outside under the big oak tree that he used to climb up and sit in for hours as a child. Frank came and sat down next to him. They were quiet for a moment as they watched the sun set in the west behind the house. Jim broke the silence.

‟Thanks,″ he said, not looking away from the horizon.

Frank turned to him. ‟For what?″

Jim shrugged, nonchalantly, as if conversations like these were a common thing between them. ‟For always being there when I needed you. Mom, she uh... she tries, but she still has her duty. I guess I do too now... But you, you've always been there. Always right there when nobody else was.″ Frank was fighting the lump in his throat. Jim smiled. ‟We may not have always gotten along, but I know you just wanted what was best for me.″

The kid had gotten good at giving speeches, that was for sure. He was a born leader, brilliant at taking the initiative and doing what needed to be done. ‟I'll always be here. Whatever you need, I'll always be here for you.″

Jim hugged him, but this time it was softer, easier. ‟I know,″ he whispered.

* * *

Thanks for went from a quick headcannon to something not quite what I was expecting. But I'm glad I did it. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
